Coffee, Cars & Curves

Today I learned yet again that coffee, cars and curves don't mix.

My wife and I were passengers today in a friend's car - she was driving us to Seattle for a couple of appointments I had at the V.A. Hospital there. There in the cup-holder sat a Grande Valencia-White Chocolate Latte... as always. The coffee has always sat in the cup-holder as though it were glued there but today it met with forces that a mere cup-holder is not engineered to withstand... namely a 50 MPH spin-out that ended with us backward in a ditch.

Until this sort of thing happens to you, you never truly appreciate exactly how much coffee is in a Grande! You also cannot really appreciate coffee's talent for missing the things you consider unimportant, like the floor mats, while concentrating itself on your eyeglasses, palm-pilot, cellphone, hair and clothing.

Then it turns into super-glue!

Your phone sticks to your cheek when you call 911... the stylus from your Palm-pilot won't let go of your fingers when you finally find where it has launched itself to from your buttoned shirt pocket. The Palm-pilot itself has become epoxied to the driver's side rear seat. For those of you who use hair-gel, might I suggest you try a Valencia-white chocolate latte instead? In my wife's hair it dried almost instantly to the consistency of concrete!

Paramedics are the salt of the earth... I truly believe that and I would have gratefully accepted their offer of an ambulance ride to the hospital except for one thing. I know that they would have clamped that collar around my neck without letting me rinse the coffee off first. That, my fine firefighters, is why I declined your generous offer. I wanted a sink and a washcloth and then a ride to the hospital.and thanks to my sister, that's exactly what I got!

I have a suggestion for Automotive Safety Engineers, though... how about cup-holders that forcefully eject all beverages through the sunroof at the first sign of impending doom!

Or at least make airbags out of a substance that you can wipe your glasses on.